Portland Trip: Jet Boating on the Willamette River

I found an ad for a jet boat cruise along the Willamette River (the river that runs through downtown Portland) and decided that the boys would love it. My sister and I booked reservations for our kids on a hot Portland afternoon. Noe refused to wear his life jacket and Asher was so nervous he clung to his jacket (and to me). Asher and his cousin hardly looked up during the entire one hour ride. The first couple of times we got soaked in the boat was fun, but then we were just plain cold. Regardless, it was fun to see downtown Portland from the water, feel the speed of the boat and learn a little bit of Portland history.

Portland Trip: The Oregon Coast

Despite the prerequisite sweatshirts, we enjoyed relatively good weather on our day trip to the Oregon Coast. There are few things that make Noe happier than a day at the beach.

Portland Trip: The Ride Along

This is my brother. Isn't he cute in his police uniform?

One of the best things I did on our trip was tag along with my brother Dave for an early morning ride along. Initially disappointed that we weren't allowed to take free treats from Starbucks (police rules), the day improved dramatically when we busted an alleged prostitution ring run out of a mobile home, complete with drugs and hooker underwear.

It is a funny thing....my dad was always worried about Dave finding his place in the world. Now, barely in his thirties, he has a career that he truly loves and a beautiful family. His sister, 18 months his senior, on the other hand, still can't figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. Maybe my dad should have been more concerned about his overachieving oldest.

Portland Trip: Recap

The word that keeps coming to mind when I think about our three weeks in Portland is IDYLLIC. Waking up to a grand adventure of our choosing every day. Best friend cousins to share hugs and trains. Powell's Books. Grandma's giant multi-leveled backyard full of summer flowers, fresh fruit and dotted with toys for grandkids. Geocaching in the neighborhood of our youth, equipped with i-phones and goldfish crackers. Fresh Burgerville milkshakes. Seventy-five degree days followed by cool summer nights on the back deck wrapped in blankets reading Beverly Cleary over the lullabies of crickets. Magical playgrounds discovered in the trees above the city. Riding MAX. Soft-serve ice cream cones enjoyed with great-grandparents.....four generations bonded by a love of chocolate and vanilla. Digging holes in the cool, soft Oregon coast sand and watching our feet turn blue in the surf. Soft H2O. Looking for bad guys with my brother the cop on an early morning ride-along in outer SE....

There is something equally strange and wonderful about watching your own kids walk in your childhood haunts.

I think we all learned things from our time away. I learned....or at least was reminded that... Ed is the best thing in my life and I never want to be without him for long. I also believe now that Ed is the best thing in the lives of our boys (yes, I admit, he handles discipline much better than I do). I also recommitted myself to getting us back to Portland in the next five years or so. I have enjoyed our East Coast adventures, but I love Portland. I am Portland.

Asher learned that having cousins is pretty awesome. And sometimes Grandmas do special things that moms just don't think of....like planning an awesome hiking adventure or pulling out a new Thomas train the very day that he is going to have to watch another cousin get inundated with birthday gifts. Asher also learned that Oregon rain is more gentle than Virginia rain, even if it lasts longer....and the ocean water at Grandma's house is MUCH colder than the ocean water at Abuelo's house.

Noe learned that there are a lot of people in his life that love him and expect hugs and kisses when they see him. He learned that when he gets on an airplane, he is free of school and long therapy sessions...at least until he comes home on another airplane. He can eat cookies for breakfast if he requests them independently and he can ride his bike in the street with mom at Grandma's house....there just aren't as many cars as back home. Final lesson (hopefully): Good things await when forced to wear a life jacket, so it's not worth the fight.

Photos coming soon....

Wedding Anniversary, By the Numbers

8: Years to the day Jen and I have been married. How time flies!

7: Hours I slept the night before our wedding. I seem to remember getting woken up by my Aunt Esperanza's manic cooking at the big house at about 7 a.m. She made breakfast for anyone who wanted it.

6: Time in the p.m. we were officially husband and wife, give or take a few minutes. The wedding started at 5:30, and I remember being genuinely nervous for the first time all day right before it began. So much so that I stopped Bishop Powell before we stepped out to the chapel and asked if we could have a prayer.

5: Groomsmen in our wedding, including the best man. Also, the number of folks in the mariachi band that played after the ceremony and at the reception.

4: Siblings I inherited after marrying Jen. I even like most of them. (Just kidding, guys!)

3: Days we spent on our honeymoon in Bandon, Oregon. Yes, this was the "He's a rookie newspaper reporter/She's a grad student" honeymoon. One of these years, we'll have a proper honeymoon.

2: Children we've had since then. Noe and Asher, you guys continue to amaze me.

1: Times I've spent my wedding anniversary alone. It was bound to happen one of these years, and this was the year. On the bright side, Jen is happy because she's spending it in Portland.

0: Doubt in my mind that Jen is the love of my life.

Summer Recap

Summer is winding down around here. Taking inventory, I would say this summer was a success for our family. We all learned some new things, enjoyed the outdoors, and had some fun together. Here are some highlights. Sorry if this reads a little too much like a holiday letter....

Ed's summer started pretty rotten. His work schedule was changed back to nights and weekends, a relic from our time in New York we thought we had left behind. Ed had a lot of child care responsibilities this summer while I worked full-time and the boys enjoyed their time with him (and their less healthy meal options). I have to say Ed never complained when he had to care for the boys early in the morning after getting home from work at 2am. For his birthday present this year, I signed up Ed for tennis lessons. He made a lot of improvement and it is much more enjoyable to play with him now. Other good summer happenings for Ed: He was made the NBA night editor, which softened the blow of the schedule change. He also got to see two of his favorite artists live this summer.

Noe spent the beginning of his summer at ESY (Extended School Year) and seemed to have a good experience there. He is using his words and signs so much better, it is fun to hear him try out new words. He is working hard, but it doesn't come easy for him. He looked forward to his weekly sports camp with Asher and, from what I hear, now has some mad soccer skeelz. He is still fanatical about his bike rides. We always have to plan for at least an hour, usually two hours of riding when we take him out. He also got to experience his first rock concert!

Asher rallied late in the summer and learned to swim! He also experienced his first chapter books (Ribsy & Henry Huggins, both written by Beverly Cleary). It was a lot of fun to read to him for a few minutes each night. We had to place strict computer limits on Asher after we discovered him on YouTube searching for Thomas the Train clips.

As for me, I really enjoyed my summer of work. I had a great staff and we had minimal problems with the students. In fact, I am feeling a bit lost now that my job has ended...and I'm wondering if this is a sign that I'm ready to return to work full-time again. I commuted the 13 miles round trip by bike each day. It was a great way to start and end my day. Each evening while Ed was at work, I would take the boys swimming at the neighborhood pool and end the day reading to them. I also enjoyed the fruits of my community garden plot and supplemented it with produce from the local farmer's market. Ed and I discovered the best gelato EVER...or at least in Reston, and I saw my first live Beatle in concert. Being a half-hearted fan, I wasn't really prepared for the emotion the music would have for me and the FUN I would have at the concert. I thought a lot about my dad, who saw the Beatles live when he was a teenager, in Portland.

I feel so sad because Noe won't talk to me

I was putting Asher to bed when he blurted out this sentence. It came out just before I tink Thomas is a good train and Diesel 10 is evil and after Is a penis like a tail? Gotta love conversations with 4-year old boys.

Asher has been the little-big brother to Noe for quite awhile now. Like many kids with disabled siblings, he fell naturally into that role. Although I am determined for Asher to have as normal of childhood as possible, and I try to make sure that his responsibilities and stresses are age appropriate...he is not Noe's therapist or caretaker, he is a little boy... Asher has inevitably become Noe's helper....holding his hand and guiding him along while we are shopping, answering for Noe when someone asks him a question and cheering the very loudest for Noe throughout the sports camp they attend together.

I remember one instance in church a few months back. I was helping Noe participate in a sharing time group activity. There were about thirty kids and teachers in the room. Noe started to melt down because he couldn't get the puzzle piece on the board exactly how he wanted it. As he slid to the floor and I leaned over to pick him back up, I caught a glimpse of Asher sitting in the audience. He looked visibly stressed. It wasn't a look of embarrassment as much as concern for me and Noe. It occurred to me in that very moment that no matter how much we try and shield our struggles with Noe from him, he does absorb our stress.

A friend sent me an article awhile back about siblings of kids with autism. Research shows that siblings tend to fall on opposite ends of a spectrum. There are the super siblings that try to make themselves perfect and take on great amounts of responsibility in order to compensate for their autistic sibling, and on the other end are siblings who have tremendous problems in school and society, unable to deal with the stress at home. It is very obvious where Asher is headed, despite our constant reassurance that his efforts, regardless of the result, are always good enough and we love him regardless of how well he performs in X. Perhaps we are sending off subliminal signals to him? Because, I won't lie, I do want him to stay easy and agreeable and helpful.

I remember a particularly hard night with Noe soon after his autism diagnosis. Asher was just an infant and we did not know if he was also affected, but I suspected that with his easy personality and engaging eyes that he did not have autism. I remember that night....watching the boys curled up together asleep... finally... in our tiny Queens apartment....feeling a physical and emotional exhaustion that made me want to scream and claw at our plastered walls and curl up asleep for days all at the same time. I prayed to God and told Him that I might be able to handle one child with autism but not two. I told God... yes, I was angry... don't you dare, even think about doing this to Asher, too.

So here we are....Asher and I....four years later and beginning a dialogue about autism. What it is. How it will affect Noe. How it will impact his own life.....forever.