Sunday, June 4, 2017

On mantras

man·tra
ˈmantrə/
noun
  1. (originally in Hinduism and Buddhism) a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.
    • a Vedic hymn.
    • a statement or slogan repeated frequently.

Done is Better than Perfect

This was my personal mantra for many years. I repeated it several times a day and it succeeded to make me ultra-productive and consistent, if not mediocre. I'm okay with trading off the sleepless insanity of constant perfection for a mediocre life. I'm happier with my house "pretty clean", my latest work proposal finished and emails out but with a stray typo or two, my kids dressed and clean, but not wrinkle-free, and a solid seven or even eight hours of sleep in me.

When I was on the hunt for a new mantra, and I heard this one while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, 'Happier, with Gretchen Rubin', and it instantly resonated with me:

Don't Treat A Gift Like A Burden

I took Ed out for a 40th birthday brunch recently, and we were talking about the time that had passed since we had first met. "What even happened to our thirties?" I said.

"Our thirties were all about the kids," he replied. And he was exactly right.

But "all about the kids" just isn't sustainable for me any longer. I've been feeling this angst lately,  that everything I do for my kids or Ed or my job feels like a heavy weight. I desperately need a shift of perspective to survive the next few years. I need to stop treating my gifts as if they are burdens!

Last week Asher had a science fair at his middle school and won, which was the worst possible outcome that I could imagine. Now he is competing at the district level, with new expectations and a competition time during rush hour on the south side of town. But I'm done stressing about it. Instead, I'm choosing to be proud that I have a son who works hard in school, that Ed's work schedule is slow enough right now that he can come home early to get Noé off the school bus, and I have a reliable car and plenty of podcasts to get us through the rough commute.

Oh, I'll never be a Sunny Sally... not my personality. But acknowledging and appreciating the vast amount of goodness in my life? Yes, I will be better for it. And the three biggest "gifts" in my life deserve it as well.