Saturday, May 26, 2012

My Bubble Boys

Last week I had two healthy boys.  Neither had missed a single day of school this year for health reasons.  And then this week happened.

Monday morning Noe presented with a rash on his arms.  It looked like hives, and it was contained, so I just kept an eye on it.  Tuesday morning we had an early dentist appointment.  When I dropped him off at school, I noticed the rash had spread to his neck and face.  I took him home, convinced it was poison ivy.  I began to treat for poison ivy.  Wednesday morning I woke up to this face.  His arms  and hands were also very swollen. I hustled to work and Ed took him to the doctor.  They ran a strep test, which came back positive.  The doctors concluded that he was either a) having a horrible reaction to the strep  b) had scarlet fever  or c) had a combination of poison ivy and strep.  I think I've ruled out poison ivy on my own after a lot of online reading and mom advice.  He is finally recovering and has been a trooper throughout the ordeal.

Thursday afternoon Ed took Asher to a previously scheduled appointment with an allergist.  Asher spent our Portland trip wheezing and trying to catch his breath.  It was scary and I spent most of the trip trying to decide if I should take him to the ER.  He also did this the last time we were in Portland and for part of last spring.  Turns out, he is allergic to EVERYTHING (at least in the environment).  The doctor recommended a number of treatments including allergy medication and inhalers (makes sense) and also a 5-year allergy shot regiment (not so sure).  Still trying to sort it all out.

It was a long, exhausting week.  To top things off, we are renovating BOTH bathrooms which is its own special headache.  This weekend Ed and I are both working.  I am looking forward to a 5AM wakeup call tomorrow to set up a festival booth my company is sponsoring.  Ed is working a long night shift on his 35th birthday.  There is a bright spot somewhere in here.  I'm sure I'll find it tomorrow.  After a nap.

Monday, May 14, 2012


Ed and I had always been of one mind when it came to our future.  We had always agreed what our next step should be and the best way to get there.  I heard other friends complain about how difficult marriage is and I never really got it.  Because, honestly, my marriage had always been the easiest and best thing going in my life.  Easy as Easy Ed.  Bringing the CHILDREN into the mix has at times been difficult and we occasionally have allowed the pressures of parenthood to strain our relationship.  But the majority of the time, Ed and I?  We've been good.

Until this spring.

It became strikingly apparent after I returned back from Portland we weren't seeing eye-to-eye. That when we looked out to the horizon of our future, we were gazing at very different spots.  I endured some quiet, scary days lost in thought.   There was no fighting, just lots of confused looks and a lingering sense of fear.  I was angry and confused and FRIGHTENED.  What if this would stumble us up....and we could never completely recover?  What if.....this was the beginning of the end? 

We are talking.  We are both making compromises that will balance our individual needs and desires, with those of our children.  We will be okay.  In fact, we are already ok again.

Ed puts his family before his career. Always and no questions asked.  He recognizes my own needs and desires as important, and always puts them ahead of his own.  He takes a hands-on 50/50 approach to raising our boys.  Thank goodness, because honestly, I would be on 500 different depression and anti-anxiety medications trying to go this alone.

Sunday, May 6, 2012


Asher's Favorite Passover Food (as he calls it) And, honestly, the only Passover food we ever have in the house.

College v. Heaven.   Asher has naturally posed a lot of questions about death since my Grandpa Razz's passing.  One morning when we were in Portland for my grandpa's funeral, I was out on a run, so Asher cornered my sister Kelli wanting to tell her about my father's death.  So he explained to her why he passed away and then ended with..."But Aunti's ok....because he got to go to college!"  

Oreos.  Noe has been loving Oreos.  I keep them in stock so that his therapists can use them for reinforcement during his therapy sessions, but otherwise leave them in a high cupboard.  Last week, I woke up to noises coming from the kitchen at 2AM.  I turned on the kitchen light to find Noe high up in the kitchen cabinets, licking the frosting middles out of Oreos and tossing aside the cookies.  He had gone through almost an entire package of Oreos by the time I caught him and was high as a kite off of the sugar. I took the crack away from him, tried to clean up the mess and spent the next two hours standing over his bed, trying to get him to fall back asleep.

Swimming.  Noe continues to do well at his swimming lessons.  We have been spending extra time at the pool so that Asher can get ready for swim team this summer.  Last week, I watched Noe swim almost the entire length of the pool....I think he would have made it, but put his feet down just shy of the edge.  I think he could participate in swim team next year if he wouldn't get so distracted in the water and actually cared about swimming fast.  And if I could clear my schedule to help him at each practice.  We'll keep working on it.  Our indoor pool has a slide, which Noe simultaneously loves and is terrified of.  He climbs the stairs to the top of the slide giggly and giddy, but then proceeds to inch his way down the slide on his butt.  It is really cute and makes me laugh!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Remembering Grandpa Razz

As Ed posted a couple weeks back, my Grandpa Razz passed away.  Asher and I made a quick trip back to Portland for the funeral services.

I was asked to collect and read memories from family and friends at his service.  I ended with my own memories.  I could have talked about Grandpa and what he meant to me all day and into the night, but there were many others with things to say, so I tried to keep my memories brief.  This is what I wrote:

"For me, memories of Grandpa are intertwined with my childhood:

a fridge full of Alpenrose milk and ice cream (I still dream about those little cartons of swiss chocolate milk)

Grandpa loading up all the grandkids into his car to go to the Organ Grinder for games and music and pizza

eating ice cream bars in Grandpa's backyard on hot summer days

dipping chocolates at Christmas time.  It was always such a privilege to be invited over to help him!  Plus the added bonus of getting to lick the cast of chocolate off of your hands when you were finished. 

Blazer games....especially my first Blazer game ever.  I was a huge Magic Johnson fan so he saved the Laker game for me.  He took me down court side to see the players warm up so I could get a good look at MJ.  He bought me a Blazer t-shirt to wear to school the next day.  It might have been the best night thus far in my nine years of living.

Grandpa sent me the best care packages when I was away at BYU for college.  Once, he even mailed me some Olive Garden breadsticks because he knew how much I loved them!

After my father passed away, Grandpa took on some of the roles of a second father to me and my siblings.  For example, when I moved down to Eugene to attend grad school at U of O, he and my Grandpa Mattson borrowed a trailer and hauled my stuff down to Eugene for me before I realized I might need some help.  I think my roommate was a little shocked that I had hired two men in their seventies as movers!

My sister Kelli commented to me yesterday that Grandpa simply loved his life as few others seem to.  I think that it was because he had achieved a wealth few others do.  He had the love and absolute adoration of his family and many, many friends.  He had a talent for serving others and derived great happiness from this service. Grandpa is truly one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I would give up quite a bit to be able to walk into my grandparent's house one last time, to feel their hugs and kisses and hear their warm welcomes!  To smell Grandpa's roses growing in the side yard, and inhale the delicious scents coming from his kitchen.  To look through pictures of their latest trip over the background buzz of a Blazer game.  To hear him answer his phone, RIP CITY one last time."

I miss him like crazy!