My Bubble Boys

Last week I had two healthy boys.  Neither had missed a single day of school this year for health reasons.  And then this week happened.

Monday morning Noe presented with a rash on his arms.  It looked like hives, and it was contained, so I just kept an eye on it.  Tuesday morning we had an early dentist appointment.  When I dropped him off at school, I noticed the rash had spread to his neck and face.  I took him home, convinced it was poison ivy.  I began to treat for poison ivy.  Wednesday morning I woke up to this face.  His arms  and hands were also very swollen. I hustled to work and Ed took him to the doctor.  They ran a strep test, which came back positive.  The doctors concluded that he was either a) having a horrible reaction to the strep  b) had scarlet fever  or c) had a combination of poison ivy and strep.  I think I've ruled out poison ivy on my own after a lot of online reading and mom advice.  He is finally recovering and has been a trooper throughout the ordeal.

Thursday afternoon Ed took Asher to a previously scheduled appointment with an allergist.  Asher spent our Portland trip wheezing and trying to catch his breath.  It was scary and I spent most of the trip trying to decide if I should take him to the ER.  He also did this the last time we were in Portland and for part of last spring.  Turns out, he is allergic to EVERYTHING (at least in the environment).  The doctor recommended a number of treatments including allergy medication and inhalers (makes sense) and also a 5-year allergy shot regiment (not so sure).  Still trying to sort it all out.

It was a long, exhausting week.  To top things off, we are renovating BOTH bathrooms which is its own special headache.  This weekend Ed and I are both working.  I am looking forward to a 5AM wakeup call tomorrow to set up a festival booth my company is sponsoring.  Ed is working a long night shift on his 35th birthday.  There is a bright spot somewhere in here.  I'm sure I'll find it tomorrow.  After a nap.

Crossroad

Ed and I had always been of one mind when it came to our future.  We had always agreed what our next step should be and the best way to get there.  I heard other friends complain about how difficult marriage is and I never really got it.  Because, honestly, my marriage had always been the easiest and best thing going in my life.  Easy as Easy Ed.  Bringing the CHILDREN into the mix has at times been difficult and we occasionally have allowed the pressures of parenthood to strain our relationship.  But the majority of the time, Ed and I?  We've been good.

Until this spring.

It became strikingly apparent after I returned back from Portland we weren't seeing eye-to-eye. That when we looked out to the horizon of our future, we were gazing at very different spots.  I endured some quiet, scary days lost in thought.   There was no fighting, just lots of confused looks and a lingering sense of fear.  I was angry and confused and FRIGHTENED.  What if this would stumble us up....and we could never completely recover?  What if.....this was the beginning of the end? 

We are talking.  We are both making compromises that will balance our individual needs and desires, with those of our children.  We will be okay.  In fact, we are already ok again.

Ed puts his family before his career. Always and no questions asked.  He recognizes my own needs and desires as important, and always puts them ahead of his own.  He takes a hands-on 50/50 approach to raising our boys.  Thank goodness, because honestly, I would be on 500 different depression and anti-anxiety medications trying to go this alone.

tidbits

Asher's Favorite Passover Food (as he calls it).  And, honestly, the only Passover food we ever have in the house.

College v. Heaven.   Asher has naturally posed a lot of questions about death since my Grandpa Razz's passing.  One morning when we were in Portland for my grandpa's funeral, I was out on a run, so Asher cornered my sister Kelli wanting to tell her about my father's death.  So he explained to her why he passed away and then ended with..."But Aunti Kelli....it's ok....because he got to go to college!"  


Oreos.  Noe has been loving Oreos.  I keep them in stock so that his therapists can use them for reinforcement during his therapy sessions, but otherwise leave them in a high cupboard.  Last week, I woke up to noises coming from the kitchen at 2AM.  I turned on the kitchen light to find Noe high up in the kitchen cabinets, licking the frosting middles out of Oreos and tossing aside the cookies.  He had gone through almost an entire package of Oreos by the time I caught him and was high as a kite off of the sugar. I took the crack away from him, tried to clean up the mess and spent the next two hours standing over his bed, trying to get him to fall back asleep.

Swimming.  Noe continues to do well at his swimming lessons.  We have been spending extra time at the pool so that Asher can get ready for swim team this summer.  Last week, I watched Noe swim almost the entire length of the pool....I think he would have made it, but put his feet down just shy of the edge.  I think he could participate in swim team next year if he wouldn't get so distracted in the water and actually cared about swimming fast.  And if I could clear my schedule to help him at each practice.  We'll keep working on it.  Our indoor pool has a slide, which Noe simultaneously loves and is terrified of.  He climbs the stairs to the top of the slide giggly and giddy, but then proceeds to inch his way down the slide on his butt.  It is really cute and makes me laugh!

Remembering Grandpa Razz

As Ed posted a couple weeks back, my Grandpa Razz passed away.  Asher and I made a quick trip back to Portland for the funeral services.

I was asked to collect and read memories from family and friends at his service.  I ended with my own memories.  I could have talked about Grandpa and what he meant to me all day and into the night, but there were many others with things to say, so I tried to keep my memories brief.  This is what I wrote:

"For me, memories of Grandpa are intertwined with my childhood:

a fridge full of Alpenrose milk and ice cream (I still dream about those little cartons of swiss chocolate milk)

Grandpa loading up all the grandkids into his car to go to the Organ Grinder for games and music and pizza

eating ice cream bars in Grandpa's backyard on hot summer days

dipping chocolates at Christmas time.  It was always such a privilege to be invited over to help him!  Plus the added bonus of getting to lick the cast of chocolate off of your hands when you were finished. 

Blazer games....especially my first Blazer game ever.  I was a huge Magic Johnson fan so he saved the Laker game for me.  He took me down court side to see the players warm up so I could get a good look at MJ.  He bought me a Blazer t-shirt to wear to school the next day.  It might have been the best night thus far in my nine years of living.

Grandpa sent me the best care packages when I was away at BYU for college.  Once, he even mailed me some Olive Garden breadsticks because he knew how much I loved them!

After my father passed away, Grandpa took on some of the roles of a second father to me and my siblings.  For example, when I moved down to Eugene to attend grad school at U of O, he and my Grandpa Mattson borrowed a trailer and hauled my stuff down to Eugene for me before I realized I might need some help.  I think my roommate was a little shocked that I had hired two men in their seventies as movers!

My sister Kelli commented to me yesterday that Grandpa simply loved his life as few others seem to.  I think that it was because he had achieved a wealth few others do.  He had the love and absolute adoration of his family and many, many friends.  He had a talent for serving others and derived great happiness from this service. Grandpa is truly one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I would give up quite a bit to be able to walk into my grandparent's house one last time, to feel their hugs and kisses and hear their warm welcomes!  To smell Grandpa's roses growing in the side yard, and inhale the delicious scents coming from his kitchen.  To look through pictures of their latest trip over the background buzz of a Blazer game.  To hear him answer his phone, RIP CITY one last time."

I miss him like crazy!

spring break roadie

The mantra of our six-day road trip south started out as "We can always just drive home if we're miserable." By the second day of the trip it had changed to "Let's quit our jobs and hit the road for good!"

We had a great time on this trip. We spent three nights down at Emerald Isle (southern tip of the Outerbanks) and two nights in Charleston, SC. Here is my road trip top 10 (in no particular order):

1. Whole Shells. Growing up near the Oregon Coast, I always thought finding whole shells along the beach was a myth invented by Hollywood. But they really exist, at least in the Carolinas! It was so much fun to go shell hunting. The shorelines would literally be overflowing with intact, beautiful shells. Sometimes I would pick one up and think, this must have been bought at a store and then dropped by the North Carolina Dept of Tourism! We brought some home to keep...I wish I would have brought enough to fill my entire house with them!

2. Southern Food. We ate hush puppies and grits for the first time. Ed ate a lot of oysters and crabs and such 'cause that is his thing. We found this place in Charleston called the Glass Onion with amazing southern comfort delights. I want to drive all the way back for more cornbread and deviled eggs, please.....and mashed potatoes and collard greens.....yum!

3. Dolphins. I had no idea we would see dolphins on this trip. We first spotted a few in the water on the ferry back from Shakelford Banks. We saw more on the Charleston Waterfront. When we went to Folly Beach (near Charleston) there were three dolphins playing within a few feet of us in the water. Spectacular. We were told they hang out in the area until July when the water gets too warm.
i missed getting a shot of the dolphins, but got a cute one of Noe


4. Historic Charleston. Charleston was so beautiful that I was *almost* convinced that the Civil War really was "a war of northern aggression," as they like to claim. How could this beautiful place have ended up on the wrong side of history? It reminded me a bit of Georgetown, but with palm trees. I couldn't keep my eyes off the beautiful houses and churches. There was a lot of Easter preparation going on at the churches. We walked through the old cemeteries at the Catholic churches and snuck into a beautiful stained-glass sanctuary at a Presbyterian church. I would have loved to attend Easter Services there.

Serena, is this the water fountain where you and Barry got engaged?



5. The Lighthouse.


I was all pumped up about exploring lighthouses on this trip. So when we saw signs for a hiking trail that was supposed to lead to a historic lighthouse, we jumped out of the car and hiked. This is as far as we got. I decided against the mile swim.


6. Wild Horses at Shakelford Banks.

Look behind Asher and you will see the "wild" horses

One day, we took a ferry out to a small island that was home to dozens of wild horses, left by the Spaniards back in the day. I was expecting groups of them to randomly run past us as we walked the island, 'cause they're wild, right? But we actually had to hunt for them by following the horse poop. We finally found a group quietly eating grass. Ever since television and the Internet came along, I guess wild horses aren't as active as they used to be!

7. Mini Golfing. Dude. The South does their mini golfing right. At Emerald Isle, we took our very own train to the first hole. There were cascading waterfalls and no clowns or cheap windmills. The boys got into it (although Noe preferred to kick his ball into the hole if we didn't watch him). I had a great time because I was with my cute little threesome.....I could skip the golfing. And golfing also deserves a mention because it cost us $36 for 18 holes. Yes, you read that correctly. For that much, I was expecting a high-five from Tiger Woods for my holes-in-one.

8. Car Talk. Ed and I had so many great talks on this trip. Mostly when we were held hostage along long stretches of highway. Since most of our conversations take place on Facebook chat or are prefaced with the phrase...."You have exactly three minutes to talk before I have to go to X" these days, to have long stretches of conversation was pretty fabulous. We learned that we are both in our thirties now and have two children, among other things...

9. Piggly Wiggly. This is a real grocery store! I always thought it was a place that people invented to make fun of Southern folk. An' I seen it with my very own eyes!

10. Technology. Finally, a special shout out to the iPads and other new-fangled technology contraptions that helped make the long drive a pleasant experience for all.

Rip City Rhapsody

One of the hardest things about living on the East Coast the last 10 years has been being away from extended family. I know this has been particularly difficult for Jen, who still had all four grandparents when we moved to New York in 2002. Inevitably, health problems would creep up and it wouldn't be so easy to get back to say goodbye or pay our respects.

On the other hand, you cherish those times you got to see them that much more. And every once in a while, you get a memory that you will never forget.

I would put my last significant visit with Jen's paternal grandfather (Razz as everyone called him) in both of those categories.

We went to Portland last April for spring break, and by then we were well aware of Grandpa Razz's declining health. His wife had died a year earlier after a long struggle, and he had slowly gotten weaker in the ensuing months. By this point, he was living with Jen's aunt and being taken care of.

Even though I knew him for a fraction of the time Jen knew him, I still have many wonderful memories. He had been extremely generous to my parents when I got married. Even though there was an obvious language barrier, Razz was determined to show my parents a good time and have them not pay for any of it. That was him in a nutshell: His kindness transcended cultures.

But any conversation about Razz can't occur without mention of the Portland Trail Blazers. He had been a season ticket holder pretty much from the start of the franchise, when they played in the old Memorial Coliseum. He was on hand for Game 6 of the 1977 Finals, he lived through the Rip City years, he even hung in there during the Jail Blazers Era after they moved to the Rose Garden. He probably had his heart broken during Game 7 of the 2000 conference finals.

(I say "probably" because I NEVER brought it up. I knew better, especially as a Lakers fan. I remember during a particularly feisty Lakers-Blazers regular season game years ago, Jen called over to his house and he answered the phone by saying "KILL THE REFS!")

I always enjoyed looking at his old Blazers stuff and hearing about his hilarious brushes with old Blazers players (the Billy Ray Bates story is a classic).

So knowing all this, I noticed our vacation was going to coincide with the start of the NBA playoffs and lo and behold, Portland was in it. They were a long-shot to go all the way, but at least they would have a first-round series. So I figured what better way to spend time with Grandpa Razz than to go over and watch the games with him?



By this point, things were looking up for the Blazers.

The Blazers played Dallas that series, and they lost the first two games to the Mavericks, both of which I watched with him. I skipped Game 3, which they won, and was back at his side for Game 4, which was on a Saturday afternoon, the day before Easter. It was a gorgeous spring day in Portland, the kind where you feel you could reach out and touch Mt. Hood because it looked so pristine.

And by the third quarter, the Blazers were down by 23 points. I was starting to think I was the jinx.

They had shaved the deficit to 18 points by the start of the fourth quarter but they still looked terrible. Then, Brandon Roy happened. If you're any kind of NBA fan, you remember the game:



I couldn't believe what we were watching. Grandpa Razz was as excited as he could be, chuckling at the Blazers' good fortune. By the last two minutes, the rest of the family that was around ran in to see the finish and we were making quite a scene. And when Jason Terry's desperation three-pointer fell short, it was pandemonium. I turned to Grandpa and told him: "We got a series!" He laughed, happily.

It was all I could say before running off to the restroom and breaking down and crying.

I know it's just a game and I'm not even a Blazers fan, but that wasn't why I got so emotional. It was because I realized right then that this was probably the last time I'd ever see him (we were flying back to D.C. two days later). The fact it happened during an insane Blazers playoff game made it a happy memory. But it was certainly bittersweet.

Eventually, I composed myself and said goodbye, gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. The look on his face will resonate with me forever. He was clearly touched, even got a little choked up and then he said, "I love you, too."

Grandpa Razz passed away Friday night, nearly 12 months after that last happy afternoon together. Jen broke the news to me this morning. I'm sure she and her family will do his memory far greater justice than I ever can (see the video tribute below, for example).

But as we begin to grieve, I wanted to remember that beautiful spring day back in Portland.

Cherry Blossom Festival: Then and Now

When we moved to the DC area in early spring of 2006, one of our first outings was the Cherry Blossom Festival at the Tidal Basin. The picture above says a lot about our life then..... no one is looking at the camera, no one knows exactly what is going on, lots of forced grins by Mom and Dad.

I can't deny it....life is much easier and ordered six years later....

with two happy boys.

It was a magical morning. The blooms were at their peak, the weather was gorgeous, and we were there early enough in the morning to practically have the place to ourselves. We took our time through the Jefferson and FDR Memorials, enjoying the view from all angles (including the angles involving hanging from trees).