All of my many white people's problems

Sometimes when I complain, Easy Ed shoots me down. "That's a white person's problem," he'll answer. Meaning that there are people suffering a lot worse things than I am at that moment. Many of my problems are those born out of privilege. I laugh whenever Ed throws my whining back into my face with that phrase, but it has made me think carefully before I complain.

Here is a list of some of my recent "white person's problems" this week. These are things I either thought to myself or I actually said out loud:

"There is not enough room in the fridge for all of this food!"

"I am going to be way too tired to function at work after our weekend in Virginia Beach."

"We have way too much [of our investment portfolio in] cash. I don't know where to put our money right now!" (Yes, I actually said that.)

"I don't know whether to sign up Asher for Spanish class or piano lessons or both this fall."

"The boys have way too many clothes!"

"If we could only buy an iPad for everyone in the house...." C'mon....

"It is so annoying to volunteer at Noe's school. There are always way too many parent volunteers at each event."

"It's so unfair that we don't have a housecleaning service."

"I wish we could just take Noe and Asher to the same dentist. It would be sooo much easier."

"It sucks how much our car registration fees have gone up since we bought our new car."

"I wish the farmer's market four blocks from my house stayed open just a little later so I wouldn't have to rush over after work to buy all of their wonderful and fresh produce."

"I am going to be living in this place FOREVER!" (Place = 3 bed/2 ba newly updated townhouse in a safe and prosperous community, with awesome schools, and wonderful people.....POOR ME!)

Although I would not characterize all of our problems as "white" and we do have serious challenges in our lives, and I am not quite as superficial as it might appear from this post (hopefully), I am thankful for ALL of my white people's problems!

Mommy, I can do hard things.

We were riding bikes to the school playground, much as we do most summer nights when we aren't at the pool. Asher's chain came off his bike. I fixed it. Then a couple blocks later, again. The third time it fell off, I was busy wrangling Noe, making sure he made a left turn into the school yard instead of a right turn into oncoming traffic. When I finally made it back to help Asher, he was trying to fix the chain himself. My frustration was evident from my tone, "Move Asher....I'll fix it."

"But Mooom......I'm fixing it!"

"Asher it's too hard, let me do it!"

As I was kneeling down towards the chain, he took his little greasy hands in my face, looked me square in the eye and said, "Mommy, I can do hard things."

A phrase that I repeat to him often.

Many days I don't feel like I have much to offer Asher by way of being his mother. As difficult as learning is for Noe, it is that easy for Asher. I remember taking Noe to a developmental pediatrician a couple years back. Asher had to tag along with us. He had just turned three and spent the entire appointment reading books in a corner of the doctor's office. After listening to Asher read out loud, the doctor remarked how I had two children at two polar opposite ends of the learning spectrum. It stung a bit to hear, but it is true.

Every skill Noe has developed, we (we = Ed and I, plus our team of therapists) have consciously and painstakingly taught him. I remember the day he finally figured out how to use a straw, when he learned to pedal AND steer his bike, his first words, the first circle he drew by himself. For Noe, learning something new involves assessments, pages of data, strategy sessions with therapists, and months (sometimes years) of work. But it is exhilarating to see him finally succeed. Being Noe's mother is very hard, but at times, profoundly rewarding.

And Asher? I occasionally toss food his direction from the kitchen and try to stay clear of his flurry of activity and self-directed learning.

But when Asher repeated back my line about doing hard things, I finally realized my purpose as his mother. Surely things won't always be so easy for Asher. He will have challenges, he won't always be the smartest kid in his class, he will eventually lose some of his politician-swagger-in-a-six-year-old body. I don't always have answers for his questions anymore....(No Asher, I don't know if a Japanese beetle is nocturnal.) But, I CAN teach him to do the hard things in life.

And perhaps that will make all the difference.

Noe and Asher Do Bull Run

I would hardly describe myself as a history buff, but it is hard not to be fascinated by the Civil War. I really enjoyed reading this article from last Sunday's Washington Post about the Battle of Bull Run. Among the shocking things I learned: People showed up to view the battle scene "with parasols and opera glasses." There were even VENDORS selling food, as though they were attending a baseball game. Soldiers arrived in all different styles and colors of uniforms, which made it impossible to tell who was fighting for which side. It sounds like the battle resembled a comedy of errors, where unfortunately, many lives were lost.

Tomorrow marks the 150th anniversary of the battle, so I took my own two little war mongers to see the battlefield in Manassas, which is only a 25 minute drive from our home. It was hot and sticky, but we spent some time looking around the battlefield, catching butterflies, and playing on the cannons. Parts of the battle took place on a widow's farm. Poor Mrs. Brawner must have had the surprise of her life!

Peer Pals Gets Some More Love

Peer Pals got some love from our local Patch site a couple weeks back. Check out the fun article here. We are averaging one news article per year, whoot! whoot!

Don't forget to scroll down and see the photo of Noe walking hand-in-hand with his peer pal, Sarah. That, my friends, is called little boy love. Noe couldn't be more smitten with his cute, blond peer pal. Sarah is moving on to middle school next year and Noe will miss seeing her each day at school, but I have a feeling she will continue to find ways to be a part of Noe's life.

Noe has a lot of guardian angels in his life. Some are just cuter than others.

Portland Trip: Easter

The Saturday before Easter, we had a family Easter Egg hunt in Grandma's backyard. Her yard was green and gorgeous thanks to an unusually wet (even by Portland standards) spring. The kids had a great time together!

Then all had fun stuffing little faces with candy. Later in the day, we found all of the cousins hiding under a blanket eating the Easter candy that was supposed to go in their baskets. Easter Bunny was pissed, but got her revenge the next morning when two little boys with sad faces found their baskets quite empty. You just don't mess with the Easter Bunny!


And no Easter celebration is complete without tug-of-war, of course!

I told you Grandma's backyard was gorgeous! It was a rare treat to spend a real holiday with real family. Easter 2011 was perfect in every way.

Portland Trip: Visiting Grandparents

One of the greatest blessings of my life has been my grandparents. I grew up just a couple miles away from both sets. They are threaded throughout my childhood memories. I feel extremely fortunate that I have three of them still in my life (my Grandma Razz passed away last year). We were able to watch several Blazer playoff games with my Grandpa Razz, who now lives with my aunt and uncle in Oregon City.

My Grandpa Mattson (shown above with my Grandma), a WWII veteran, still has an amazingly sharp mind and strong body at age 90 (this October). My Grandma Mattson reads voraciously and is always working on a quilt or other sewing project. And just like I remember from my own childhood, she always has cookies for my boys when they come to visit.


Baby E and my Grandpa Mattson. Almost 90 years separate them. Although Baby E is the youngest great-grandchild, my grandparents also have several great-great grandchildren. What an amazing family legacy they leave behind!