fifteen years

The other night I crawled into bed after a long day.  Ed was fast asleep on his side of our bed.  I was annoyed at him about something (honestly, I don't even remember what it was now).  I looked over at him with my dagger eyes expressing my thoughts.  Things I'd have said to him if he were awake, but staying perfectly silent.  In a start, he awoke.  Still groggy, "Did you say something? Are we ok?"

This morning (Super Bowl Sunday), 6am:  Both of us stay perfectly still and silent for the other, not realizing we are both awake.  I can feel the stress of the coming work day radiating off of him.  I want to make it better for him.  The only thing I can think to do is stay still so he will be rested for his day.  Meanwhile, on the other side of the bed,  Ed wants to get up, but knows how easily I wake and wants me to sleep.  So we lay together but separate as silent statues.

Is this what almost fifteen years together with someone looks like?