1. I have not one but three top secret chocolate stashes around my house.
2. When walking into my kids' elementary school, I used to wait for people to come up to me and say that I couldn't possibly have kids old enough to attend elementary school. I couldn't figure out why no one ever said that. Until this year. When I realized I look EXACTLY like a mom of elementary school aged kids!
3. Growing up, I notoriously and unapologetically drank milk straight from the carton. But as soon as I moved out and lived on my own with my very own carton of milk, I stopped.
4. When I was in elementary school, I would hide my clarinet behind the shed to go play basketball with the 5th grade boys instead of attend early morning band practice like I was supposed to.
5. My youngest child has a VERY full piggy bank. I don't give him an allowance, but he does make me give him a quarter every time he hears me swear (a dollar for the really bad words).
6. I "borrow" from that piggy bank when I'm short on cash. He is the only one with cash in the house!
7. If someone I just met asks me what my husband does for a living, I sometimes make up a vague mundane job description (i.e. he works downtown, in an office) to avoid a long laborious conversation about the Seahawks.
8. My youngest child spent most of his first few months of life sleeping in his car seat on the floor of the bathroom in our one-bedroom NYC apartment. It was the only quiet place available. I constantly worried that he would end up with a curved spine.
9. I first thought the "small craft center" near our neighborhood lake was an arts and crafts center rather than a boat center.
10. I hated babysitting my younger siblings growing up. I still don't love babysitting other people's kids. On more than one occasion, I put my youngest…then toddler….sister in our rabbit hutch out back so I could play basketball but still keep her alive.
11. I love my husband and I'm grateful for the support we received when we married, but if I had my wedding to do over again it would be much smaller and more intimate.
12. I guesstimate my contact lens prescription and then order my contacts online to avoid seeing an eye doctor. I will pretty much do anything to avoid going to a doctor
13. A couple weeks ago I told my husband that I was going to a PTA meeting. I walked right past the
school to Ben and Jerry's for free cone day.
14. I am HORRIBLE with directions. Living in NYC pre-GPS, I mostly relied on toddler Noe to help me locate the nearest subway station. He had a great knack for finding them.
15. When my DC neighbors did not recycle, it would fill me with homicidal rage. Sometimes I would sort their trash myself in the dark of night. Some I refused to talk to after frequent violations.