Friday, June 8, 2012

A Plague on Both Your Houses

Note:  This post doesn't really fit Shakespeare's intended meaning of the phrase, but it sounded like a catchy title.

Ever since our week of mysterious illnesses and diagnoses, there has been some strange shist goin' down at our house.

Plague Exhibit 1.  Last Friday afternoon, while Joe the Contractor was putting down tile in our master bathroom, he discovered some black mold.  Apparently that is a very bad thing and he ordered everyone out of the house immediately.  He wouldn't let us go back in for anything, claiming he was "legally liable" if we got sick.  I drove home from work, picked up my Mexican refugees, and we wandered around Reston until late while masked men removed the mold.  To add to the fun, the DC area was having massive thunderstorms and flash flood warnings.  And was on a tornado watch.

Plague Exhibit 2.  That weekend brought more home improvement mayhem when Joe the Contractor accidentally torched a piece of insulation.  Flames immediately shot up the inside of our bathroom wall.  Fire and ambulance responded.  Neighbors gathered and gossiped.  Joe the Contractor sustained burns after he ripped through drywall trying to put out the fire.  The firemen stormed (OK...that is an exaggeration) checked the attic for smoke.  The fire had been contained.  To be safe, we changed out the batteries in all of our smoke detectors that night.

Plague Exhibit 3.  On Wednesday, the very worst plague of all fell upon us. Dunkin Donuts opened up across the street from our house.  Not down the street and through a large and spacious parking lot.  I am sayin' ACROSS the street.  So close that there are donuts being frosted and sprinkled within 3-point shooting range of my front steps.  And I like me a good cake donut!  The boys and I stopped in late Wednesday night and I was relieved to see their donut selection wasn't so great.  I don't really get East Coasters infatuation with the DD.

Here's hoping this week will bring more bathroom remodeling,  less firetrucks!

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