Monday, May 14, 2012

Crossroad


Ed and I had always been of one mind when it came to our future.  We had always agreed what our next step should be and the best way to get there.  I heard other friends complain about how difficult marriage is and I never really got it.  Because, honestly, my marriage had always been the easiest and best thing going in my life.  Easy as Easy Ed.  Bringing the CHILDREN into the mix has at times been difficult and we occasionally have allowed the pressures of parenthood to strain our relationship.  But the majority of the time, Ed and I?  We've been good.

Until this spring.

It became strikingly apparent after I returned back from Portland we weren't seeing eye-to-eye. That when we looked out to the horizon of our future, we were gazing at very different spots.  I endured some quiet, scary days lost in thought.   There was no fighting, just lots of confused looks and a lingering sense of fear.  I was angry and confused and FRIGHTENED.  What if this would stumble us up....and we could never completely recover?  What if.....this was the beginning of the end? 

We are talking.  We are both making compromises that will balance our individual needs and desires, with those of our children.  We will be okay.  In fact, we are already ok again.

Ed puts his family before his career. Always and no questions asked.  He recognizes my own needs and desires as important, and always puts them ahead of his own.  He takes a hands-on 50/50 approach to raising our boys.  Thank goodness, because honestly, I would be on 500 different depression and anti-anxiety medications trying to go this alone.

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